And people wonder why I fucking hate this world. No child should ever want to say something like that, or ever want to do something like that. 
I can’t breathe…

I’m so upset and scared and worried…

Two members of my birth family publicly harassed me and basically disowned me….
Oh and I screwed up….
Was clean for a month :’(

:’( 

I am so fucking unappreciated and I am so fucking sick of it!!! 

I had to give up my social life, and any fucking amount of romantic life to fucking take care of your fucking son!! Don’t get me wrong, I love him more than you ever fucking will. And I am so fucking happy that I am witnessing him grow up every god damn day and I hope to rub it in your stupid fucking whore of a face one day!!! 

I can’t even fucking study for a god damn quiz because I have no fucking time to myself. ALL DAY TODAY from the time I woke up until the time your son fell asleep, I did anything and everything, for EVERYONE ELSE….I didn’t get to cook my dinner till 7pm, I didn’t get to fucking eat it till 9:30pm. Every fucking day, I give up even seeing my fucking two best friends, to leave everything and go pick up your son. I bring him home, I help mom. That’s all I do. I wake up, go to work, school, pick up your son, help mom, go to bed. And between all that, I can’t even keep my fucking grades up. Because the only time I have to myself to even fucking do any homework, is after 10pm. at night! And I have to go to bed at 11pm, to get any fucking amount of sleep I can before I have to fucking do it all again the next FUCKING DAY! 7 days a fucking week I bust my FUCKING ASS for everyone else. 

AND I so want to be done. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t even see my own fucking fiancee. I see him an hour and a half a fucking week. On a lucky chance I’ll get to go on a date with him over the weekends. 

Tonight is the first night in a long time that I have fully contemplated ending everything because I can not do it anymore. What I’d say in a note, how I’d do it, where I’d do it….
I fucking hate you so fucking much for ruining my life, and this fucking family. And I can’t even tell you that because then I’m the bad fucking person for ruining the peace. You are a fucking selfish piece of shit. You are a fucking whore. You can’t keep your legs closed. You are a drug addict. And a fucking cunt. 

I have 4 little sisters, who I went 21years of my life not spending a single moment with. Or knowing they existed. And they treat me better than you have in the 22 fucking years I have known you. I look at people that say they love their sister. Well guess what. I FUCKING DON’T. I never once was able to have any form of relationship with you. You verbally and physically abused the shit out of me every chance you got, and you still do. 

What’s pathetic…you wont even ever see this…any of it…

and I can’t say a word…I have to hold it all in…because no one wants to hear it. No one wants to disturb the peace. 
So here I sit. Crying hysterically. Wondering why I still bother doing this anymore…

Thank you. Thank you SO MUCH. 

stitchedupkrissy:

it’s simple in design, and it’s inspired by a user on here.

I’m drawing it because butterflies are beautiful and symbolic in meaning to me. This butterfly is for anyone out there, who is going through a hard time.

It’s not going to be anything perfect, but it’s stopping me from doing things…

it’s simple in design, and it’s inspired by a user on here.

I’m drawing it because butterflies are beautiful and symbolic in meaning to me. This butterfly is for anyone out there, who is going through a hard time. 

It’s not going to be anything perfect, but it’s stopping me from doing things tonight as I sketch it out. When I post it, I will write url’s of those who reblog this, (as many as I can fit onto the 9x12in paper).  

Breath. Cry. Go through whatever it is you are going through. And please, remember there are those who care. I don’t know you, but I do. 

For my second day of Drawing (college art course), I was isntructed to bring in one art piece that I had done. 

Qualifications:

1- What do I like to draw
2- How do I draw / drawing style
3- Does it define who I am

I posted a couple of these up on my facebook, asking for help! I can’t decide which one to bring in!! So I’m turning here for opinions also! Ask box me which one you like best?? Please? I really can’t decide…

These pictures are the ones liked best off my facebook. 

ask box me your choice?: http://stitchedupkrissy.tumblr.com/ask 

Hey Tumblr
I’ve been cut free for almost a year now, after close to ten years of so many scars.
I’ve been free of wanting to die, for a little over a month.
I used to drive every where praying someone would kill me in a give car wreck.
I used to go to bed each night wondering what would happen if I didn’t waffle up.
I’ve seen things that aren’t there, and I’ve heard things that don’t belong in this world.
My mind is split into 2 other people.
I know what it’s like to not be ok. I know what it’s to be in am endless depression, or have panic attacks, to be afraid.
I’ve done this without therapy, and without medication. I didn’t need doctors or a psych ward.
And it’s ok. You can over come it. And I can help if you let me try.

Early yesterday morning my grandfather from my birth family passed away in his sleep. Since then I have been completely heart broken. 

Having serious issues with death, depression, suicide, self-harm, and many other mental disorders, I would like to say that true love is shown completely by my fiancee. He risked hurting his knee yesterday to come find me while I went hiking after I found out…stayed up as late as it took with me, until I finally fell asleep from crying, and was here for me today. I had came home from a day out with my parents, and fell asleep for a few hours. Upon waking up, a few minutes to midnight, I found my fiancee at the front door of my mom’s, in tears, horrified that something would be wrong. Having fallen asleep, I didn’t answer my phone for a good amount of hours. 

No man has ever gone to great lengths to make sure I am still breathing and okay. 

I am so sorry that I fell asleep and didn’t hear my phone. But the long hug I was given as we both stood there and cried, re-assured me to toss something I wrote in my diary earlier today.

I love you more than anything. Thank you for being the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with…..

To those select few who know me personally on here, I’m breathing, I’m physically ok, but I am not ready to talk to anyone. Please don’t get offended if I don’t reply to your messages. I don’t know how to handle this at all…

my-own-little-dream-world:

REBLOG

well into the hundreds…

by-our-own:

Take 2 min to see this please.

Be strong. who ever you are, where ever you are. take deep breaths, and be strong. I know it’s hard. I find it hard to even listen to my own advice. But I’m trying. You’re beautiful, flaws and all. <3 

operation-save-lives:

You don’t want to die. You want to be saved. I’ll be here to save you. I’ll talk to you. Just drop by my ask. I won’t judge you. I want to save you. That’s what this blog’d about. So, please don’t be scared to talk to me. I want to help.

http://stitchedupkrissy.tumblr.com/ask 
Always open, it goes straight to my cell. Let me be there for you. I promise I’ll be here.  

(via puh-thetic)

You have reached level 65 on the Goldberg scale. 

0 - 9 Depression unlikely

21 - 35 Minor to moderate depression

10 - 17 Possibly minor depression

36 - 53 Moderate to severe depression

18 - 21 On the verge of depression

54+Severe depression

You are having suicidal thoughts. This is a serious warning sign, and you must seek help quickly.

You have the symptoms of severe depression. The condition seems to cause serious problems in your everyday life, and you should consult your doctor immediately.

Depression is a disease like any other disease, and it can be treated very effectively. Recognising that you are suffering from depression is the first positive step. If you are depressed, you should arrange to see your doctor to talk about the illness right away. You may also want to raise the issue with your friends and family. You should look for support from these people you until you get well. Anyone can suffer from depression, and the symptoms can vary from person to person. Treatments, including medication and psychotherapy, have a very high success rate.

(Source: netdoctor.co.uk)