I am so fucking unappreciated and I am so fucking sick of it!!!
I had to give up my social life, and any fucking amount of romantic life to fucking take care of your fucking son!! Don’t get me wrong, I love him more than you ever fucking will. And I am so fucking happy that I am witnessing him grow up every god damn day and I hope to rub it in your stupid fucking whore of a face one day!!!
I can’t even fucking study for a god damn quiz because I have no fucking time to myself. ALL DAY TODAY from the time I woke up until the time your son fell asleep, I did anything and everything, for EVERYONE ELSE….I didn’t get to cook my dinner till 7pm, I didn’t get to fucking eat it till 9:30pm. Every fucking day, I give up even seeing my fucking two best friends, to leave everything and go pick up your son. I bring him home, I help mom. That’s all I do. I wake up, go to work, school, pick up your son, help mom, go to bed. And between all that, I can’t even keep my fucking grades up. Because the only time I have to myself to even fucking do any homework, is after 10pm. at night! And I have to go to bed at 11pm, to get any fucking amount of sleep I can before I have to fucking do it all again the next FUCKING DAY! 7 days a fucking week I bust my FUCKING ASS for everyone else.
AND I so want to be done. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t even see my own fucking fiancee. I see him an hour and a half a fucking week. On a lucky chance I’ll get to go on a date with him over the weekends.
Tonight is the first night in a long time that I have fully contemplated ending everything because I can not do it anymore. What I’d say in a note, how I’d do it, where I’d do it….
I fucking hate you so fucking much for ruining my life, and this fucking family. And I can’t even tell you that because then I’m the bad fucking person for ruining the peace. You are a fucking selfish piece of shit. You are a fucking whore. You can’t keep your legs closed. You are a drug addict. And a fucking cunt.
I have 4 little sisters, who I went 21years of my life not spending a single moment with. Or knowing they existed. And they treat me better than you have in the 22 fucking years I have known you. I look at people that say they love their sister. Well guess what. I FUCKING DON’T. I never once was able to have any form of relationship with you. You verbally and physically abused the shit out of me every chance you got, and you still do.
What’s pathetic…you wont even ever see this…any of it…
and I can’t say a word…I have to hold it all in…because no one wants to hear it. No one wants to disturb the peace.
So here I sit. Crying hysterically. Wondering why I still bother doing this anymore…
Thank you. Thank you SO MUCH.